What is it about time that makes it so elusive or malleable? I remember hearing about Einstein’s theory of relativity in Physics class during my senior year of high-school, and all I am also certain it goes e=mc2. As to what that means, I could not possibly tell you. I remember hearing about it in senior year Physics class. What I remember learning from senior year Physics class is how not to get pushed off the ledge by Michael Calvaresi. Michael Calvaresi was, for all intents and purposes, my best friend, and should have known better.

For some inexplicable reason, the seats in the Physics lab were set up on risers. Being an ‘A’, I was used to taking the first seat in the first row. In this room, that meant my seat was at the edge of a precipice. Now, Michael Calvaresi was not what one would call a ‘tall’ student; he was more of the ‘vertically challenged,’ to use the PC term. However, it seemed as if his legs grew during Physics class, and stretched out to push my desk to the tip of the precipice, and laugh uncontrollably when I went “Whoooaaaaaaaa!” And to make matters worse, this drew the attention of Sister Crazy Old Bat, who would not hesitate to call even more attention to this ordeal. This action, and, of course, my calm, sedate response, did not endear me to the girls seated immediately to my left. So as you can see, my mind did not have the time or capacity for Einstein’s theory on relativity, unless it allowed me to go back in time somehow and beat the snot out of Michael Calvaresi.

Now that I am a calm, cool, and collected adult who, thankfully, does not have to take Physics anymore with Michael Calvaresi, I really wish I better understood Einstein’s theory on relativity. Most days seems to slip by so quickly that I begin to question if there are still twenty-four hours in a day. I’ve also noticed that since I’ve gotten married, and especially since we’ve had children, that while time might still pass at the same rate, my ratio of things accomplished to time elapsed has gotten worse over the years.

My wife and I signed up for a course entitled “Six Weeks to a Simpler Life.” The most amazing part of this course is that we made it to each and every meeting, and oftentimes right on time. Taking this course, via a parent’s club, was a bit like going back to school as a student. Both Melissa and I started off very excited during that first week; we have one copy of the book, and one of us always knew where it was in the house. We read it every day, as instructed … for the first three or four days. Then, life got a bit too hectic. Both our boys were involved in baseball; Matthew was playing in the 6-7 league, while Jacob was in his first at t-ball. Guess who was coaching both? Matthew is also involved in Cub Scouts, and guess who also helps out with Scouts. I mentioned how amazing it was to actually make it to every parents’ club meeting, and in retrospect, I think the word ‘miracle’ is more appropriate.

Our six weeks have come and gone, and I’m not sure our lives are much simpler. I still nag Melissa about her ever-growing collection of shoes (I swear they are procreating in the closet), and she will in turn nag me about the books I have yet to read. We’ll nag the children about picking up their toys, and the children will nag us that they’re bored and there’s nothing to do in the house, then run outside and play in the dirt. All in all, even though Melissa and I haven’t picked up the book except to take to meetings, we enjoyed the program. It has been said that the program does not have to be completed in six weeks, and that’s good. A better title for us might be “Six Months to a Simpler Life.” Even then, I might not be so sure. Check back with us in six years (if you can find us). And Michael Calvaresi, may your oldest son someday be forced to take Physics with Sister Old Bat.